


Fresh Start Fever

by DashFlintceschi



Series: Illnesses/Disabilities Alphabet Challenge [1]
Category: You Me At Six
Genre: Dan is a hardass, Dan threatens to tell on Josh to his mum, Josh is an amputee, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-28
Updated: 2014-05-28
Packaged: 2018-01-26 22:06:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1704209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DashFlintceschi/pseuds/DashFlintceschi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The five of them are in a car crash, which results in Josh having his leg amputated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fresh Start Fever

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting on my memory stick for a while, I got stuck half way through. I think this was the story that got me writing all these disability/medical issues stories lately.

When the five of them get into the car, they have no idea what’s about to happen. Dan’s driving, Josh in the passenger seat beside him, and the other three squash together in the back. They’re talking and laughing as they head to Asda. Max had showed up at Dan’s new flat with a surprisingly big bag of weed, so before they start smoking it, they decide to stock up on food for when the munchies hit.

Things are going great for them, until they get to a crossroad. The lights are green, so Dan heads straight over the crossroad, but just as they get to the middle, where the four roads meet, a lorry comes flying through a red light and slams into the left side of the car.

The car spins three times and almost rolls before it stops. 

“Everyone alright?” Dan groans, pressing his hand to the bleeding gash on his forehead, noticing the pain in his arm and realising it’s probably broken.

“I’m alright, I think my ankle’s broken, but other than that, I’m good, Matt reckons he’s got whiplash, a broken collarbone and a few broken ribs, and Chris is knocked out, but he looks ok,” Max tells him, and Dan sighs in relief, then lets his head fall to the side so he can look at Josh.

He doesn’t need to ask Josh if he’s alright, he can see he’s not. The entire left side of the front of the car is crushed, pinning Josh’s legs; his arm looks mangled; the window’s smashed, leaving several deep looking gashes on his face and neck; and Dan can see from the look in Josh’s eyes that he’s terrified and in agony.

“I can’t feel my leg. Danny, I can’t feel my leg,” he whimpers as his eyes fill up with tears, and Dan has to fight back tears of his own. 

“It’s ok, you’ll be ok. It’s just because the car’s crushing it, the firemen will be here soon, and once they cut you free, you’ll be able to feel your leg and everything will be fine,” Dan reassures him, calming slightly as he hears the approaching sirens.

The paramedics get Max, Matt and Chris out, while the firemen start working on getting Josh out. One of the paramedics comes to get Dan out, but he throws up his unbroken arm to block him.

“No, I’m staying here until they get him out,” he insists, and the medic looks at him with understanding eyes.

“I get that, mate, I do, but you’re hurt, you’re bleeding badly, we need to treat you.”

“Then you can treat me here, I’m not moving,” he declares stubbornly, ignoring the pain in his arm as he moves it to hold Josh’s hand tightly.

The medic gives up then, rummaging in his bag for a few seconds, then leaning over to pick the small pieces of glass from Dan’s skin, so he can clean the wound and tape gauze and a dressing over it to stem the bleeding.

The medic is just leaning over to immobilise Dan’s broken arm, when both of them jump and Josh squeezes Dan’s hand harder than Dan thought possible as the saw starts up and starts grinding against the side of the car.

It’s a tense few minutes, until the saw stops, they lift the metal from its place, and Josh lets out a bloodcurdling scream. Dan feels sick as he can’t help but look. There’s blood and flesh everywhere, and Josh’s leg doesn’t look like a leg anymore.

The medics work as quickly as they safely can, strapping Josh onto a backboard, sliding him out of the car and rushing him into the ambulance. Dan stares after them in shock, until the medic at his side gently touches his hand.

“Come on, mate, let’s get you to the hospital,” he coaxes softly, and this time, Dan lets him help him out of the car and lead him to the last waiting ambulance.

Dan’s left arm is broken in three places, and he needs 13 stitches in the long, curved gash just below his hairline. Once he’s done with the doctor, he joins Max in the waiting room. Matt and Chris are being kept in overnight as a precaution, and they’ve yet to hear anything about Josh’s condition.

Max hands him a Styrofoam cup full of tea as he sits down and sighs.

“The police were here while you were in with the doctor. They checked the CCTV, there’s no sign you were driving erratically, which they knew anyway. The lorry hit us after the driver died at the wheel, it genuinely was an accident,” Max informs him, and Dan nods slightly.

“Doesn’t make me feel any less guilty, though,” he mumbles, and Max scoffs slightly.

“I’m the one that’s guilty. If I hadn’t brought that weed, we wouldn’t have been going to Asda in the first place,” he insists, and Dan sighs.

“Why don’t we just agree that it was no-one’s fault and just focus on praying that Josh is alright?” He compromises, and Max nods.

They find out during the night that other than a few broken fingers, Chris is absolutely fine, and that he’ll be allowed to leave in the morning; and that Matt has three cracked ribs, whiplash and a broken collarbone, and they want him to stay in the hospital for a few days, to keep an eye on him.

They don’t hear anything about Josh’s condition until half seven in the morning. He has quite a lot of stitches on his face and neck from the glass, his shoulder was dislocated, his arm is broken in thirteen places, and the one that shocks them the most, the surgeons were forced to amputate most of Josh’s left leg. The damage was too extensive to fix, so the only feasible solution was to amputate, leaving him with only about a third of his thigh left.

By the time they’re allowed to see Josh, Chris has already been discharged, so the three of them follow the nurse to Josh’s room. They creep in, as best as Max can on crutches, expecting Josh to be sleeping. What they find, though, is Josh sitting up, staring vacantly at his hand, which is running over the bandages that cover what’s left of his leg.

He doesn’t acknowledge them at first, not until Dan leans over and gently touches Josh’s good arm. He jumps slightly and looks up at Dan with hurt eyes.

“You said it would be alright. You promised,” he sounds betrayed, heartbroken, and Dan gulps. 

“I know, I’m sorry. I honestly thought it would be,” he whispers, fighting tears as Josh gives him that look for a few more seconds, the turns back to stare at his hand again.

“I want you to leave. I don’t want you near me,” Josh insists softly, not looking at Dan. He nods and gets up, the tears finally spilling over. Max and Chris stand to leave too, but Josh looks at them in surprise. “I didn’t mean you. I want you to stay, it’s just him I want to leave,” he tells them, then turns and looks at Dan with cold eyes. “Why are you still here? Why would you think I would want you here, anyway? This is all your fault. Get the fuck out!” 

Dan can’t help the soft sob at Josh’s harsh tone, but turns and leaves all the same. 

Josh ignores all attempts to make him see sense, in his mind, Dan was driving, and Dan broke his promise, therefore, it’s all his fault. He knows he’s probably being ridiculously irrational, but he needs someone to blame, and Dan is the convenient option.

Josh talks to a physiotherapist the next day, who teaches him light stretches to speed up his recovery. A week later, he’s moved to a rehab ward, where they show him how to take care of his stump, a word he decides he fucking hates, how to take care of his prosthetic, how to walk with the prosthetic and with crutches or a walking frame, and how to adjust how he does everyday tasks to accommodate his lack of a leg.

Thirteen days after the accident, Josh is fitted for a prosthetic, then the nurse discharges him from the hospital. He’s not happy about the fact that he has to use a wheelchair until his arm heals, but in his mind, that’s just another thing to be angry at Dan for. 

He still refuses to talk to Dan, but the others have been giving Dan updates on how Josh is doing every few days. They think he doesn’t know, but they’ve been quite obvious about it. He was bothered about it at first, but then he realised it was just more for Dan to feel guilty over.

Five weeks after Josh gets out of the hospital, Chris finally manages to talk him into talking to Dan. He only got his prosthetic a week before, and he’s still getting used to walking with it, so when they walk into KFC, Matt’s choice, of course, he’s leaning heavily on Chris and limping quite noticeably.

As soon as they sit down, Max asks everyone what they want and disappears over to the counter. The four of them sit in awkward silence for a few minutes, until Matt clears his throat.

“So, how’s it going with the prosthetic?” He asks quietly, and Josh shrugs.

“It’s weird, putting all my weight on seemingly nothing, it’s uncomfortable and itchy, and it hurts if I wear it for too long, but it’s getting better than it was, and the physiotherapist says it’ll stop itching and hurting once the wound heals properly and the skin toughens up a bit, so it could be worse, I guess,” he replies, glancing over at Dan and feeling annoyed that he doesn’t seem to feel as guilty as Josh wants him to.

They’re interrupted by Max coming back with the food. Josh eats silently as he watches Dan. Dan’s quiet himself for a few minutes, until Max and Matt pull him into their conversation. Josh gets angrier and angrier as he watches Dan talk and laugh with them, until he can’t hold his tongue anymore.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Flint?” Dan flinches at the way Josh spits his name, then turns to look at Josh with wide eyes.

“I don’t know what you mean,” he tells him softly, and Josh laughs coldly.

“I mean, why don’t you seem to care that you ruined my fucking life?! It’s your fault that I’m like this, yet you’re sitting there, laughing and joking, like it means nothing to you!” He snarls, and Dan pinches the bridge of his nose as he sighs.

“I am sorry about what happened, J, but it’s not my fault. How was I supposed to know that driver was going to die at the wheel? I wish it had never happened, but it has, we can’t change that, but it is _not_ my fault, no matter how much you try to blame me,” Dan insists, and Josh’s blood boils.

“ _You_ were driving, _you_ were the one that swore to me I’d be alright, if it’s not your fault, then whose the fuck was it?” He sneers, and Dan sighs, but Max jumps in before Dan can say anything.

“If you’re looking for someone to blame, then blame me. I was the one that got the weed, I brought it over, I suggested we celebrate Dan’s new flat by smoking it, and I was the one that suggested we go to Asda for munchies first. It was my fault we were at that crossroad when we were, so blame me,” Max insists, but Josh keeps glaring at Dan.

“No, I think he did this on purpose. We all saw how many amber lights he flew through before that crossroad. How do we know he didn’t know about that lorry, that he didn’t do this for some sick, fucked up reason?” Josh grumbles, and Dan laughs.

“Why the fuck would I do that? It’s stupid enough to think I’d ever hurt these three, but to think I would hurt you? That’s beyond stupid!”

“And why is thinking you’d hurt me so much stupider?!” Josh growls, and Dan replies without thinking.

“Because I’ve been in love with you since I was nineteen, you stupid cunt!” Dan blurts out, a little louder than intended. He acknowledges the dirty look the middle aged woman at the next table gives him for about three seconds, until it hits him what he just said. Josh stares at him blankly for about twenty seconds, then gets up and limps out without another word.

None of them really hear from Josh for about two months after that. Matt phones him every day to check on him, but every day, Josh answers the phone, mutters ‘fuck off’, and hangs up. It’s enough for Matt, at least he knows Josh is alright.

The next time any of them see Josh is when they pick up the tour bus to do a UK tour. He shows up with three and a half minutes to spare, barely even limping now. Once he gets his gear sorted, he accepts the mug of tea Chris offers him, sits down beside Dan and starts talking to the four of them as if nothing’s happened.

The four of them are understandably uneasy at Josh’s sudden change. It doesn’t take long for him to notice the careful way they answer him.

“Look, I know I was a complete cunt to you guys the last time we talked, and I’m sorry. My doctor made me talk to a therapist about everything that happened, and I understand now that I was looking for someone to blame, even though I knew it was an accident. I had no right to treat any of you the way I did, especially you, Dan, and I know I don’t deserve it, but I’m really hoping you can forgive me.”

None of them have to think about it, they all immediately pile on top of him in a huge bear hug. After that, things go back to normal, the five of them talking, laughing and jokingly talking shit to each other. During a lull in conversation, Josh clears his throat.

“So, I was hoping none you would say anything to any fans or during interviews about my leg. I’d rather no-one know about it,” he requests softly, and the four of them look at each other warily for a minute, then nod in agreement.

“I don’t really think it’s a good idea, but it’s your body and your choice, so if you want us to keep quiet, then we will,” Matt tells him, then changes the subject to defuse the tension.

Over the next week or so, Josh notices that Dan seems awkward around him, sitting as far away from him as possible, and any attempts at conversation between the two of them are strained and stilted. Josh figures it’s because of what he admitted that day in KFC, and decides to take pity on him. He finds Dan in the back room, watching one of those stupid chick flicks he seems to like so much. He locks the door to ensure they’ll have some privacy to talk, then sits down beside Dan.

“Listen, I know you’ve felt a bit awkward around me lately, because you blurted out that you’re in love with me, but you don’t need to. I actually feel the same way,” he tells him softly, and all of the tension seems to drain out of him. Dan leans over and tries to kiss him, but Josh pulls back, biting his lip as Dan looks away, curling in on himself at the rejection. “I’m sorry, there’s nothing I want more than to be with you, but how could we ever have a normal relationship with me being like this?” Josh insists, motioning to his leg, and Dan looks at him with wide, bewildered eyes.

“Why would it change anything? Even if you had both legs, I’d have waited on you hand and foot, and showered you with anything and everything you even thought of wanting, why would you’re leg change that? Other than you throwing a hissy fit ‘cause you think I’m treating you like an invalid. It won’t change anything, and all I’m asking for is the chance to prove that to you,” Dan almost begs, and Josh watches his hands as he twists his fingers, thinking it over for a few minutes. Finally, he lifts his head to meet Dan’s eyes, and nods slowly.

“Alright, I still think things will be different, but I’m willing to let you prove me wrong,” he announces, and this time, when Dan leans forward to kiss him, Josh lets him.

True to his word, Dan treats Josh like a king, doing as much for Josh as he’ll let him. Josh reciprocates by doing his best to forget about his leg, and act like they have a ‘normal’ relationship. Things go a bit squiffy around two months into their relationship, though. Josh suddenly becomes less responsive to Dan’s affections, spending most of his time moping on his own. Any time Dan does try to talk to him, all he gets is snapped responses and sullen silence.

Finally, Dan decides he’s had enough, a sentiment he finds the other three strongly share. The four of them sit him down, Dan with his laptop open on the table in front of him.

“Alright, I hate to do this, but it’s a last resort,” he announces, turning his laptop to show Josh the screen, which is on Skype. “Either you tell us what the fuck is going on in that head of yours, or I swear to god, I will get your mother involved,” he threatens, and Josh’s eyes go wide.

“You wouldn’t dare,” he challenges, and Dan moves the curser so it’s hovering over the icon for Josh’s mum.

“I would dare. You have us worried sick about you, and you won’t fucking talk to us. If I have to call your mother to make you let us help you, then so help me god, I will,” he insists, and Josh slumps slightly.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he mumbles, and Dan scoffs.

“Tough. You either talk to us about it, or you talk to Anne,” Dan insists, and Josh sighs.

“Fine. I’m fucking fat, and I fucking hate it,” he blurts quickly, and Dan gapes at him.

“You’re kidding, right?” He asks, and Josh shakes his head, standing and lifting the hem of his t-shirt to show them the waistband of his jeans.

“Look at this, these jeans used to be massive on me. I can barely get them done up now,” he insists, grabbing the tiny bit of a stomach he’s developed to emphasise his point, and Dan sighs.

“Then why don’t you start working out with me, if it bothers you so much?” He asks, and Josh huffs.

“I’ve tried working out, I can’t with this stupid fucking prosthetic,” he grouses, and Max pipes up.

“Why don’t you try one of those running blades? They’re specifically designed for running and shit,” he suggests, and Josh nods.

“I’ll look into it, thanks,” he agrees, and, happy that Josh is fine, now, the three of them filter away. Dan stays sitting across from him, though.

“Why didn’t you just talk to me about this?” He asks softly, and Josh sighs.

“Because I thought that if you noticed, it would bother you, too,” he mumbles, and Dan can’t help the laugh that slips out.

“I don’t give a fuck about your weight, you daft git. The only reason it’s bothering me right now, is because it’s bothering you. I think you’re gorgeous, no matter what size you are, but since it bothers you, we’ll look into getting that running blade, and I’ll work you ‘til you fucking cry, and no matter what you say, I’m not letting you stop until you’re happy with yourself, got it?” All Josh can do at that, is lean over and kiss Dan hard.

Chris looks into the running blade that same day for him, and it’s barely a week later that Josh and Dan are at a quiet park near the venue, Dan keeping watch for Josh, even though he doesn’t see the need, while he swaps his usual prosthetic for the running blade. Once he’s ready, Dan locks up the car and they head into the woods that make up the majority of the park. Once they’re in the trees, Dan starts to speed up to a slight jog, but he quickly stops and looks back when he realises Josh isn’t beside him. Josh is still walking slowly, an apprehensive look on his face.

“I-I don’t think I can do it. I can just about trust thin air with my weight when I’m walking, but I don’t think I can do it running,” he admits, and Dan walks back to him, standing on his left side and gripping his hand firmly.

“It’s alright, we’ll do it together until you feel comfortable, ok?” He proposes, and Josh nods, squeezing Dan’s hand tightly as they start walking again. Dan slowly speeds them up, until they’re jogging steadily. “See, I told you, you could do it,” he encourages, and Josh nods with a tight smile.

“Yeah, but don’t you dare let me go yet,” he insists, smiling a little more as Dan tightens his grip, but it quickly slides away as Dan speeds them up a little more.

Dan keeps encouraging him as much as possible, and by the time they get back to the car, Josh has let go of Dan’s hand, and Dan’s running as hard as he can, snarling demands at Josh to keep him running beside him. They slow down as they get to the car park, and Dan looks at Josh with a smile.

“Sorry, I think I was a bit rough on you, there,” he admits sheepishly, but Josh smiles and shakes his head.

“You said you’d be tough on me, and I’m glad you were, I’d have given up half way through if you hadn’t,” he tells him, and Dan nods.

“In that case, sit the fuck down,” he barks, dropping to the ground himself as he says it. Josh follows suit, frowning in confusion, until Dan brings his knees up and starts doing sit-ups.

“Um, I don’t think I can really…” Josh trails off, motioning to the blade, and Dan huffs impatiently, sitting up fully and taking the blade off for him.

“Yes, you fucking can, now do it,” he growls, and Josh can’t help the appreciative smile that creeps onto his face and he props up his knee and does as he’s told.

Under Dan’s harsh regime, it only takes five weeks until Josh is fitter than he was before, and fantastically happy with how he looks. He still sticks to Dan’s regime with him every day, but Dan’s much less demanding, mostly because of how proud he is of Josh for how much effort he’s put in, and how hard he’s worked himself. He decides, though, that since he promised himself and Josh that he wouldn’t stop until Josh is comfortable with himself, he soon starts demanding that Josh stops giving a fuck and tells the fans about his leg. He knows that until Josh can easily, readily admit that he’s an amputee, he’ll never fully be comfortable with himself.

Josh digs his heels in on this one, though, because he’s adamant that it will freak people out and they’ll lose fans because of him. Dan does his best, even getting the others to help him, but Josh still refuses. At least, until Dan loses his patience.

“Listen, if we do lose fans because of your leg, then they weren’t real fans to begin with, and they’re pathetic excuses for life anyway, so if any of them do bugger off, I say good riddance, now stop being a fucking pussy and do it!” He snarls at him, and Josh just sits there, staring at him with wide eyes for a minute, then slowly nods.

“Fair point, I’ll tell them when we go for our run later,” he agrees, and, always a man of his word, when they go for their run, rather than wear joggers with his usual prosthetic, and change into shorts and his blade when they get to the park like he usually does, he walks proudly off of the bus with his head held high, loose shorts sitting low on his hips and blade clearly visible. When the fans that are already queuing rush over to them, their only questions are how it happened and whether he’s alright. Once he explains everything, they seem to completely forget about it, acting as though it’s always been there.

At first, Josh refuses to admit that Dan was right, since that was only a small portion of their fans. But the next morning, Dan shows him Twitter, which is full of photos of him with his blade, and not a single negative response, in any language. Josh finds no reason to argue any further, and admits with a smile that, yes, Dan was right, and yes, he does feel more comfortable knowing he doesn’t have to hide anymore. Dan doesn’t react smugly, or rub it in at all, he doesn’t feel the need to. All he ever wanted was for Josh to be happy, and now that he is, Dan’s happy.


End file.
